she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
