Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Everyone says I win the strip club
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
