he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
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Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
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Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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