forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
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