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Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
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