Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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