drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
