My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
