My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
