I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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