I feel like I'm in dance class right now
everyone is single if you try hard enough
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Randomize
