Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
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