Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
