I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Randomize
