I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
