its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Randomize