I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Hippo gnu deer
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
