There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
i dont even know how to be here
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize
