I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Randomize
