just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
