just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
