he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
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