Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
