i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
