Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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