I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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