I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
