Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
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