3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
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