The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
