I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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