there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize
