i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
