I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
