is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I could fuck to npr.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize