i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize