rhymes with "ouble enetration"
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
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