please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
29 Of The Most Hilarious And Embarrassing Walks Of Shame Ever
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
These 23 Dudes Get Giddy From Dem Titties
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?