hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
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ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
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If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.