I'm gonna have a badass scar
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.