Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
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I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
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