I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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