Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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