I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
