the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
