I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Randomize
