so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Randomize
