I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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