I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
