He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize
