Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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