I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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