I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
