I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Randomize
