I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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