I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
