have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Randomize
