I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
