Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
thus making me awesome and them whores
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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