plz talk dirty to me
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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