I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Randomize
