There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
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To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
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I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
And then he peed in my hair
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